Date Night
by knives4cash
Summary: Team RWBY attempts to mobilize for their weekly Date Night. Hilarity ensues.


"It's good to be back!" Yang exclaims with joy as we enter our dorm, dropping our book bags and collapsing on our shared beds. Technically, we collapse, but in reality Yang pulls me down on top of her, Weiss sits neatly on the edge of their bed, and Ruby jumps in, unintentionally sending Weiss up into the air and barely preventing herself from sprawling out on the floor.

"Ruby!" Weiss glares at her and straightens her clothing. "Watch where you wreak havoc!" I role off of Yang and onto my side of the bed. I note that my pillows aren't as comfy as

Giggling, Ruby mutters, "Sorry, Weiss. I'm just so drained from class."

Scoffing, she moves Ruby's booted legs aside and sits back down. "I do not intend on breaking my back tonight." She adds, "ESPECIALLY on Date Night!"

"Which is going to be AAAW~SOOOME!" Yang hollers, throwing all four of her limbs up into the air. "Who wants to do the draw?" She roles off of our bed and moves to the closet. "And do we want to dress up for the night or go casual?" She pulls out a business suit and her iconic outfit. "And just know that if you say dress up, I'll let you attend our wedding." Poor Yang, we always vote against dressing up.

Weiss laughs as she starts getting out of her school uniform. "Don't bother! We all know you'll just take poor Blake to a drive through wedding express or something just as sad." I smirk. Yang would never do that, assuming she values her sex privileges.

"Princess, you just don't get it, do you?" Yang lays out her two options and starts getting out of her uniform as well. "We're gonna wait for you and Ruby to get married, and then I'll use YOUR money to rebuild Rome from the ground up!" I would pay to see Yang in a toga. I would pay more to see her in gladiator armor, though.

I look back just in time to see Weiss blush before facing away from us and scoffing. "Ruby will be given a very strict salary on a monthly basis. She has yet to prove herself trustworthy with any asset."

"Hey!" Ruby shoots up from her lounging position. "I'm trustworthy!" She gets out of their bed and starts undressing. "Besides, you practically buy all of my stuff for me anyways!"

"I buy the essentials! You just so happen to be in a position in which I am willing to share!" I start getting out of my uniform and into my casual clothing. "Speaking of which, I couldn't help noticing that your hair had a different scent to it last night, Ruby." I glance back to see Ruby attaching her cloak and instantly pull the hood over her hair. "It smelled exactly like my conditioner."

"Wait, that wasn't shampoo?" Ruby slaps her hands over her mouth.

"ARGH! C'mon, Ruby! You walked right into that one!" Yang laughs and groans as she finishes getting into her casuals. "I thought I trained you better than that!"

Weiss, who is also dressed in her casual clothing now, crosses her arms. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I..." Ruby begins to fidget. "I'm sorry I got caught?" Oh, Ruby. I shake my head with a smirk. "Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm sorry I used your conditioner without asking!" Weiss has a pinch hold on her right ear, and it doesn't look like she'll be letting go anytime soon.

"And?" Weiss demands, "What else?"

"I love you?" Ruby smiles meekly.

Weiss lets go and slumps her shoulders. "Ugh, good enough." Ruby pecks her on the lips.

Yang claps. "Good job, sis! I bet you'd get sex out of her if you two had your own room!" My hand meets my face in a rather unceremonious fashion. I wonder what it's like living with a brain like that.

"Sweet lord!" Weiss turns and faces Yang, placing her hands on her hips. "MUST you be so perverse?"

"Perhaps we should initiate the Date Night?" I offer in hopes of bringing peace to our domain.

"Brilliant idea!" Yang retrieves her book bag and opens it up. She removes a notebook and tears out a blank page and then tears that into four pieces. We each get one.

Weiss kneels before her bag and removes four pencils. She hands us each one.

Ruby announces, "Everybody start thinking!" and poses in a hilariously inaccurate philosophical fashion.

Weiss quickly scribbles down her choice.

Yang writes down her desire. I can feel her aura igniting. That's usually not a good sign. Actually, that's never a good sign.

Regardless, I write down, "Eat out" and fold up the paper. We've visited a couple of places in the city, and nothing too bad has ever happened. There was that one time when- No. No, it's best not to think about such embarrassing matters. I didn't know Yang could bend like that, though. I smirk.

"Everybody ready?" Yang asks as she retrieves a coffee mug and holds it out.

"Ready." We collectively answer and place our papers inside. Yang covers the top of the cup with her hand and violently shakes it. Ruby and Weiss sit down on their bed in anticipation of this week's options. I sit down on our bed and also await.

"Aaaaand, through anonymous vote casting~" she dumps the four pieces out into her other hand and tosses the mug to me, which I catch with ease. "Our four options aaare~" I place it on our nightstand as she reads aloud, "Bake cookies!" Come now, Ruby. That's too obvious. "Go swimming!" An athletic activity. Definitely Weiss. "Eat out! And get Velvet into a threesome!" Confound it, Yang.

The three of us collectively groan.

"We're not doing that, Yang." Weiss deadpans.

"Hey!" Yang crosses her arms defensively and plops down next to me. "Don't go accusing people of things that they only have a twenty-five percent chance of being responsible for!"

"This voting system is broken beyond repair," Ruby states. I'm rather partial to agreeing with her.

"Whaaat? Nooo, it's fine!" Yang re-crumples up the pieces of paper and tosses them into the trash. Clapping her hands together, she declares, "So, I think we should have the threesome!" There are so many ways I could say, "no" to that.

"Fine. Then that's one too many votes for THAT endeavor." But that does a pretty good job of covering it. Weiss sighs. "All in favor of baking cookies?"

Ruby shouts, "Aye!"

The rest of us collectively answer, "Nay."

Ruby growls. "Why not?"

Yang offers, "Because you'd be bouncing off the walls with all of the sugar you would add to the dough? You and Weiss already do that on a weekly basis? You're pretty much addicted to her cookies?" She snickers. "Both kinds, I might add."

Ignoring the jab, Weiss offers, "Because some of us have figures to maintain? "

I offer, "Because it's five hours 'til midnight, and we would require at least four to bake in the cafeteria kitchen and at least seven hours to put out the fire that would inevitably be started?"

Ruby pouts and slouches. "Stupid democracy. All in favor of eating out?"

I raise a hand. "Aye."

The other three declare, "Nay!" How odd. We all are aware that it's a decent activity.

"I'm done eating for the day," Yang declares.

"We did that last week," Weiss declares. "And besides, Yang has a habit of unleashing those disgusting burps of hers."

"Hey! I have a condition!"

Yes! You do!" Weiss stomps her foot. "It's called bad manners!"

"The waitresses are mean," Ruby adds with a pout. That's only because we- No, Blake. Don't dwell on it.

I nod in defeat. "Very well." I ask, "And what of swimming?" I know how to swim. It's just that I'm always presented with better options.

"I am in favor," Weiss declares.

"I think that sounds like fun," Ruby answers.

"I'm afraid that Yang and I don't have swimsuits." I can feel a slight blush encroach on my cheeks.

Weiss stares at me for a moment and then looks to Yang. "Okay, I realize the hypocrisy in asking this, but with a body like yours, how do you not have a swimsuit?"

Yang practically keels over from laughing. "Because Blake and I don't need swimsuits for shower sex!" Now I feel myself turning red.

Weiss and Ruby start growing red as well.

Yang's laughing finally dies down. "Okay, okay, I've got an idea." Yang jumps up and takes my hands in hers and leads me to the door. "Let's go!" This cannot end well.

"Where are we going?" I ask as she moves to Team JNPR's door.I hear Weiss and Ruby follow behind me. Yang starts knocking. Oh no.

"Nora, open up!" My eyes widen, and I yank my hand out of hers and turn her around by her shoulders.

"Yang, I love you, but we are NOT having a threesome with-" the door opens up, and Nora sticks her head out.

"What's that about a threesome?" Her face immediately lights up. "Are you asking me to a threesome?!"

NO!" all of us except Yang yell. That woman just laughs at us.

"Sorry, not this time, Nora." Nora opens the door all the way and steps out. "I'd like to 'borrow' some of your..." she leans in and whispers, despite the fact that we can all still hear her, "Good stuff." Oh no.

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh? And what do you intend to pay me with, this time?"

"For enough for the four of us, I'll lend you my motorcycle for a whole day." Wow. Whatever this stuff is, it must be worldly.

Nora's grin is rather terrifying. "Any day?"

Yang nods. "Any day."

"Great!" She runs back into her dorm and emerges with a mysterious black box. "Be responsible with it, ya hear?" She shoves it into Yang's hands and slams the door shut.

Yang moves back to our dorm, and we subsequently follow behind her. Weiss closes the door, and we all watch as Yang sits down on the floor. "Gather 'round, everyone! I have in my possession a powerful relic!" One way or another, I'm probably going to regret this.

We all sit down around her, and she opens up the box. Out of it she pulls a small, empty bottle.

She places it in the middle of all of us.

I actually grin. This is going to be good.

Weiss stares at Yang. "You do realize that there's no going back, yes?"

Yang smirks at her. "What's the matter, princess? Don't got the guts?"

"Oh, I've got the guts AND the lips, Yang." Weiss grabs the bottle and gives it a spin.

Ruby groans, "This is why we can't have nice things."

Yang claps her hands together and laughs. "LLLLLLET'S PLAY!"

I'm half tempted to smash the bottle, but I'm equally tempted to see if Weiss has the guts to kiss Yang.

Confound it, Yang. You'll either be the death or source of eternal happiness of me.


End file.
